AGE , nothing scares a man as much as this one does. He will give anything to jinx the mirror, which highlights his pearly white hair amidst handful of not so black , black hair.Ah now he animatedly moves some hair this way and that way, " aah..this one was black last week! it must be the lighting..my hair is way too shiny!" he says to himself.
Of all the places that reminds him of his age , his house comes first. What happened to those days when kids come running to hug him around his knees, and jump up and down to reach for his shoulders to make him bend and kiss him with love bubbling all over their face. Where is the elder one , who comes flashing his new Medal or shield ? and where is the young one, boasting about, how he gave one-two to that bullying Tom next door?
Now they have grown up.The young one no longer bothers about his archenemy Tom , cause he is now busy with his gruesome computer game, killing army of cyborg soldiers. and the elder one ... well , when was the last time he saw him ? isn't he supposed to be coming tonight? well is it tonight or day after tomorrow?.
Words like Android , Cloud computing , e printer makes his eyes go foggy,what are these thing? come on guys, after a many years of battle with keyboard and mouse he is now able to figure out where those infamous space bar and Esc keys are.Now don't bother his with terms like voice control and touch screens.
Banks, aah this definitely makes him feel primitive..why did that nerdy banker send him five long pages of confusing , complicated and extremely detailed yet unclear online banking instructions? he is fine with cheque books and withdrawal slips.
Why does it take him ages just to log in to his online banking account after successfully getting it blocked, for entering series of wrong passwords? and why does it take his daughter to bring his bank account from 8 digit to 3 digit within few minutes of online shopping ?
A single bite of that yummy jamun made by his loving sister in law , will deliver him straight to the hands of that sadistic doctor, with murderous look on his face. He will proceed to attack our guy with series of tests.
The doc will finally spill the beans after one whole day " You have diabetes ! you must be having sugar syrup running in your veins for blood , see you have blood pressure , high enough to blow your heart any minute , the arthritis, how come you never complained about the joint pain?? aah it must me the Parkinson! which made you forget it! look at your lipid profile ! are you taking ghee for tea? and why aren't you under my operation table? you have appendicitis...what is it you have for eyes? i hardly see any pupil! you should have laser for catarac... don't forget you also have...." can you see our man running mad on the road, wondering, how he managed to live this far, seeing the look on the doc's face and the reports, he should be in heavens gate now or atleast in ICU , battling for his very survival.
Can a single bite of jamun do so much to a poor guy?
" whats wrong with you? isn't it supposed to be My pad? or My pod? why is it ipad or ipod??...no one cares for language these days! " he will say to his daughter who is searching for her ipad!
When asked about his opinion about apple and blackberry he will be giving lecture about how both are healthy and beneficial to sick people....totally unaware of the fact that no one in this generation knows that apple and blackberry were just fruits ,a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
a web was a spider's home And a virus was the flu!
Of all the places that reminds him of his age , his house comes first. What happened to those days when kids come running to hug him around his knees, and jump up and down to reach for his shoulders to make him bend and kiss him with love bubbling all over their face. Where is the elder one , who comes flashing his new Medal or shield ? and where is the young one, boasting about, how he gave one-two to that bullying Tom next door?
Now they have grown up.The young one no longer bothers about his archenemy Tom , cause he is now busy with his gruesome computer game, killing army of cyborg soldiers. and the elder one ... well , when was the last time he saw him ? isn't he supposed to be coming tonight? well is it tonight or day after tomorrow?.
Words like Android , Cloud computing , e printer makes his eyes go foggy,what are these thing? come on guys, after a many years of battle with keyboard and mouse he is now able to figure out where those infamous space bar and Esc keys are.Now don't bother his with terms like voice control and touch screens.
Banks, aah this definitely makes him feel primitive..why did that nerdy banker send him five long pages of confusing , complicated and extremely detailed yet unclear online banking instructions? he is fine with cheque books and withdrawal slips.
Why does it take him ages just to log in to his online banking account after successfully getting it blocked, for entering series of wrong passwords? and why does it take his daughter to bring his bank account from 8 digit to 3 digit within few minutes of online shopping ?
A single bite of that yummy jamun made by his loving sister in law , will deliver him straight to the hands of that sadistic doctor, with murderous look on his face. He will proceed to attack our guy with series of tests.
The doc will finally spill the beans after one whole day " You have diabetes ! you must be having sugar syrup running in your veins for blood , see you have blood pressure , high enough to blow your heart any minute , the arthritis, how come you never complained about the joint pain?? aah it must me the Parkinson! which made you forget it! look at your lipid profile ! are you taking ghee for tea? and why aren't you under my operation table? you have appendicitis...what is it you have for eyes? i hardly see any pupil! you should have laser for catarac... don't forget you also have...." can you see our man running mad on the road, wondering, how he managed to live this far, seeing the look on the doc's face and the reports, he should be in heavens gate now or atleast in ICU , battling for his very survival.
Can a single bite of jamun do so much to a poor guy?
" whats wrong with you? isn't it supposed to be My pad? or My pod? why is it ipad or ipod??...no one cares for language these days! " he will say to his daughter who is searching for her ipad!
When asked about his opinion about apple and blackberry he will be giving lecture about how both are healthy and beneficial to sick people....totally unaware of the fact that no one in this generation knows that apple and blackberry were just fruits ,a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
a web was a spider's home And a virus was the flu!
Some address him "oldy" and some call him "baldy".He often starts his sentence with " Those days..." " when i was in " " I used to...".
He will ceremoniously visit the local bookshop to fill up his library and you suggesting him to get a kindle and load it with things like e book, e paper, e magazine etc will seriously affect his ego " Why are you so addicted to this gadgets and geeky stuffs...as you people call it!."
He has to wage a war with awkwardly shaped remote, overcrowded with unwanted buttons in all wrong places and below reading size prints before he lands into new channel by 8:50pm to watch 8:00 pm night bulletin.
He is too reluctant to send email and too stubborn to give up his old letterhead and ink pen...do people use ink pens these days?
Please...don't call him "outdated!" he is not you shinny new laptop or mobile who can be upgraded every now and then.He may be old , his vision may have blurred and memory far away from his brains! but he is still young at heart and much more energetic than whole lot of so called youngsters put together.
Yes, he can be irritating , pestering and simply annoying at times but never forget, we reaching his stage is not far away from now.
Go have your jamuns earlier....before that doctor arrives!!!
